Well in four more hours my dad will be in the hospital for a minor surgery to insert the dialysis implants for the machine hook up. They are preparing him as his kidneys are failng to fast that they dont think he will have a chance for transplant. :(. But none the less day by day we take it and Give God the praise each day.
In one month his kidneys went from 10% down to 3% on the chart for transplant consideration and life remaining for kidneys to function properly. He is already feeling the shut down in his body kick in. Waiting is very difficult but I remain strong for him and positive and hopeful that one will come. Regardless of if he receives it now or later or even never at all. I am very thankful as I have gone through this with him because the Lord has always showed up and always stayed there by his side and remains with each of us today.
The lord has worked on all of us and preparing us for what ever is to come. As I mentioned in previous posts, my brother was killed 3 months shy of his 21st birthday. He was my only sibling, my best friend, my protector from much. I relied on him growing up more then anyone.
Drs had a name/phrase for both of us " The unseperable not twins that are twins." What that means is - because my mom had us so closed together we carried a closeness that twins typically carry, Being that my father was a siemese twin [brother died at birth] even though we were not twins and we acted like it and looked like, there was that twin trait we carried. We felt eachothers pain even with miles of distance between us. So dealing with his death was very painful and difficult a part of me died the day he died.
Why I am sharing this is because - Although death for many christians is an exciting time as celelbration for going home to be with the Lord - ordinarily I would be excited but when my brother died I had a hard time dealing with death. Over the years there has been healing and I think I can handle it better today then I could of 5 years ago clear on back to his death now 12 years ago.
I have gone through a time of growing in the Lord and with his help and my dads instructions as we go through this process, I feel more confident in myself that I wont have a nervous breakdown and go balistic in panic or hyperventalate as I would and did years before. God has given me instructions and prepared me, better equipped me for the just in cases and has helped me become more stronger in him, dependent on him and I am able to help a little more with my dad as far as encouraging and supporting rather then what I could before.
There is so much I need to do as for preparations should the worst come and much my father has asked me to do, I truthfully dread it, I dont want to bother it, But I continue to look up and walk with the faith and trust in God like he instructed me. This is all for the Glorifying of God in my dads life. My dad believes in God but he has struggled with his faith [not so much about denominations as it is about finding the Lord for his help and strength] When my brother died he lost that part of him and he struggles and tries to find his way back. So Thanks be to God that I am growing and he is showing me and leading me along this tough journey.
I read several things the other day both biblically and encouraging from an author as well as the sermon brought forth today. All reminding me that - "There is nothing to big for our God that he cannot handle it" - In the midst of the storm God is here and he will never leave or forsake us, keep our eyes fixed on him never looking at the stuff to the left or right of us or even in front of us. Stay focused on God, Always give God the praise and walk in faith trusting him. He knows what tomorrow holds and when it is all said and done, He will be with us and we will be with him in the end.
I want to encourage everyone one of my readers and fellow bloggers - Many of us are all in the midst of the storm - Keep our eyes on the sparrow, regardless of how bad the situation looks, There is nothing to big for our father that he can not handle. Be it a storm in your life due to finances, a bitter relative that carries unforgivenness, pain in your body because of sickeness and even coping with the loss of a loved one or friend. God has never left us, He will never leave us. He is always there with open arms, ready and waiting to comfort and surround you in love. He is forgiving and he will bring healing to what ever the circumstance or situation is and He will lead and guide you and all who cross paths with you. There is nothing happening right now in front of each of us that He was not already aware of.
He knew it was coming before it even came to each of us. He knew how much it would hurt or anger each of us before we even reacted. Tomorrow will come and we wont know what it will hold but he holds tomorrow in the palm of His hand and nothing will be a suprise to Him. Rest in Gods comfort and have Faith and Trust in Him in EVERYTHING Give God Praise and hold your head up walking in expectation receiving that what He has already promised as He has already sealed it in Christs name.
Dont let the enemy rob you of what belongs to you!
Psalms 121, Matthew 6: 25-34, Psalm 91
Be encouraged for our father will always be near when we are in time of need. Thanks for reading my post, felt good to release it and claim it all over again. :) Please continue to hold my dad up. Thanks friends. God Bless!
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