http://hissevencones.blogspot.com/2010/06/love-dare-challenge.html
The Love Dare - Day 1 ~ Love is patient
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2 NIV
Love works. It is life’s most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it. Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. And that’s where the dare will begin. With patience.
Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm. No one likes to be around an impatient person. It causes you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways. The irony of anger toward a wrongful action is that it spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks. More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.
If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so, you are spreading poison rather than medicine. Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. You don’t get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives.
Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn’t rush to judgment but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment. The Bible says, “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly” (Proverbs 14:29).
As sure as a lack of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the practice of patience will foster peace and quiet. “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute” (Proverbs 15:18). Statements like these from the Bible book of Proverbs are clear principles with timeless relevance. Patience is where love meets wisdom. And every marriage needs that combination to stay healthy. Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails.
When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure. But can your spouse count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demeaning lecture that makes her feel like a child? Can he know that cheering during the last seconds of a football game won’t invite a loud-mouthed laundry list of ways he should be spending his time? It turns out that few people are as hard to live with as an impatient person.
What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another” (1 Thessalonians 5:15). Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships. That’s a good starting point to demonstrate true love. This Love Dare journey is a process, and the first thing you must resolve to possess is patience. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint. But it’s a race worth running.
Today's Dare
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
My thoughts on leading up to the challenge and How today is going so far:
Well leading up to this challenge, I could feel the testing begin even before today. There were a lot of snip snip, rear, rear, and tss tss going on this last week. He would say something and not even realize how cruel of a comment he made or how that comment was just not nice at all really how it hurt me and I would just really grrrrrrr.... This week I started to work in the garage. I thought maybe he would offer to help, [NOPE]. I asked could he hang the rack I bought for the garage to bring stuff up off the floor. [He said, Not on an empty stomach. To myself I thought, I am not your freakin servant, you have hands and feet, get it yourself. I mean honestly, I should not have to wait on you every meal. You should be able to make yourself something to eat, especially after we had all really just ate. BUT... I ended up making everyone eat a light lunch even tho we just ate with in that hour. [Yes a late breakfast, late start love of sleeping late going on]
Well, knowing I had this rack previously, you would think tools would be charged ahead of time, BUT... they weren't. [I honestly didn't realize I had to do everything for him leading up to this point]. So I was grrrrrr... I had to waste 30 min waiting on charging time before I could do anything with the rack, after I had worked hard most of the morning clearing out the garage.... So, GRRRRR.... So I started pulling out the things I needed to get rid of, like all the empty totes I had cleared out the year before. [Yes, I get started and pulled off for rediculous reasons or something else happens.] I ran the totes over to my friend that could use them, I come back and finally we are starting the rack. [about an hour later] Thankfully it didn't take long at all. I was greatful that he did at least hang the rack. [That could of been a war with lack of patience] I made sure I loved on him, thanked him and let him know how much I appreciated his help with the rack.
[Our 3 little ones in the garage playing, our oldest [12 yr] helping me at times with little ones or garage and then going in for breaks, I thought for sure He would offer to help me get this done. I got a "hollar if you need me!" --- WHAT!? Grrrrrrrrrrrr..... To myself I am thinking, "I should not have to hollar you twirp!" grrrrrr.... So I went on my way and worked hard, my oldest came out and helped after I sent the little ones in to him. BUT.... I did not get done in the garage until 8:43p after being out there all morning [10:a]. I probably could of got a lot more done if he would of offered his help. I mean I am his wife, I should not have to ask for his help! SO.... Grrrrrr! I thought a lot to myself, We have been married "HOW LONG?" and he still thinks I am gonna come to him and ask all the time. NOPE! Typically when I asked earlier on for help or something to be done, I would have had to wait months sometimes as long as a year for what I asked to be done. SO.... I STOP ASKING for the help. By now he should be able to come and offer it to me, so I thought... Grrrrrr.
So for today, so far things are going pretty well. But then again he is at work not home. Bahahahahaha! So we will have to see how things go for tonight. I will make my 2nd post on this love dare challenge tonight and tell you how the remaining part of the day goes. I am confident that it will be better then yesterday, [as yesterday was the garage cleaning day, :) ] I hope you are doing well today if you are accepting this challenge, It is my prayer that today you are strong in the lord and able to succeed with patience for your loved ones.
Prayer:
Please lord, guide me this day and those who may be walking this challenge as well. Give us the strength to be patient and help us to remain silent in the times we may be hurt or angered by our loved one today. Guides us through out this day and help us to walk more in you and less of us. Grow us more this day in you, in your love and understanding.
Please lord, guide me this day and those who may be walking this challenge as well. Give us the strength to be patient and help us to remain silent in the times we may be hurt or angered by our loved one today. Guides us through out this day and help us to walk more in you and less of us. Grow us more this day in you, in your love and understanding.
In Jesus Name ~ Amen
Blessings!
2 comments:
Is this the book that was referred to in the Fireproof movie? From what I have read here it sounds like a great challenge!!
Yes it is. ;)
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